May 14, 2011
The Barkers have asked me to say a few words in the form of a blessing over this site, which is dedicated to the memory of Ella. I thought I would reflect for just a minute on the quotation Phil and Kelly chose for the memorial plaque, which reads, “In the last analysis, all moments are key moments and life itself is grace.” I love the sentiment of this statement and how it already declares a kind of blessing, for it seems to imply that all places are key places, too, and that the earth itself is a gift. So then what does it mean to bless one place in particular, and why would we do it, why would we single it out?
I think we can do this because we only really come to know the goodness of life in general if we know how to receive the many particular gifts it offers to us. We only know that “life itself is grace,” as the quote says, when we practice seeing and receiving its singular graces. On many occasions over the past twelve months we have all practiced this skill at least as many times as we have remembered Ella. Again, in this moment, we remember and are grateful for the life of Eleanor Barker, not because she was good in some generic way, but because she was irreplaceable. And in recognizing her unique gifts to us and to the world, we gain access to the broader truth that life can surprise us with grace at every moment. We know that life is full of key moments because we knew this person, because we knew Ella.
The truth is that we are not always open to the world’s many unique graces. And while Ella did not die in order to teach us this, or any other lesson (for the author of creation grieves our loss with us), that doesn’t mean we can’t learn, in our pain, to give ourselves more fully to this world of key moments. And so today, in dedicating this space to her memory, we single it out and declare ourselves grateful for its distinctiveness. Cherishing it as we cherish Ella in recollection, we give newfound thanks for all moments, places, and graces.
Let us pray. God of the universe, we give thanks now and always for the gift of Ella’s life. We give thanks for its singular blessing even as we still long to have her back. In remembering her irreplaceable character, we are grateful to be opened up to the breathtaking diversity of gifts that make up this world. We single out now the gift of this space, which we receive anew, recognizing its uniqueness and the specific qualities of its blessing to us—its border of live oaks, the unique window it offers on the surrounding terrain, its promise of conversation and communion, its hospitality. Let it be a place in which laughter and tears, vigorous debate and quiet reflection, all find a home. Let it be a place of both solitary moments and surprising new encounters. We bless this place now, as we shall do again in days and years ahead, by receiving its unique gifts, and in doing so, by becoming open to the grace of all moments. Amen.